puisi untuk bapak

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ucapan hari lahir di tepian pantai, akan berbekas sehingga ke tua.
--selamat hari tua, bapak (;

hari ini
terik matahari
bapak belum pernah ucap selamat pagi
walaupun hari menjelang tinggi

bapak tidak ada yang lebih abadi
selain dari kasih seorang wali

berapa tahun kita lalui
tanpa selempar tikar dikaki
walau keringat hampir ke mati

bapak belum pernah lagi
menghayun lagak ngeri
pada wajah anak anak suci

bapak kembali berubah dalam nadi hidup kami
apabila bapak mula poligami

bagi meleleh kasih cinta saban hari
bapak serah segalanya pada ummi.


Agenda nombor 11

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Aku masuk dan terus mengambil tempat di belakang sekali.  Alasan aku mudah, aku bukan mahu mendengar sangat dan tidak mahu bertanya sebarang soalan.  Tidak ketinggalan, aku juga sebenarnya sudah lewat tiga puluh minit untuk mesyuarat ini.

Dari belakang, aku mendengar dengan jelas segala butir-butir mesyuarat yang sedang disurahkan oleh ketua jabatan.  Dari tadi, nada suaranya tidak berubah, sentiasa tinggi.  Aku tidak tahu samada ini betul-betul satu mesyuarat atau sesi memarahi staff bawahan.

Dari tempat duduk, aku meninjau-ninjau jauh ke hadapan.  Kelihatan seorang staff sedang mencatit segala apa yang keluar dari mulut ketua jabatan.  Owh aku hampir terlupa bahawa memang tugasnya sebagai minutes taker untuk semua mesyuarat yang melibatkan ketua jabatan, samada di dalam dan juga luar jabatan.  Di sebelahnya pula duduk seorang staff yang kejap angguk, kejap tulis, kejap angguk dan angguk angguk angguk.  Itu adalah bos yang kedua, yakni satu lapisan di bawah ketua jabatan.  Satu tulis dan lima angguk itu merupakan satu definisi yang tepat untuk menggambarkan peribadi beliau.

Dan yang selebihnya adalah staff-staff bawahan yang merupakan penggerak utama jabatan ini tetapi macam biasa la, yang paling kurang mendapat perhatian.  Aku memerhati flip chart yang sudah hampir penuh diconteng oleh ketua jabatan.  Aku cuba membaca apa yang tertulis.  Ada agenda sebagai tajuk besar, dan ada nombor satu sehingga sepuluh dibawahnya.  Mengambil kira ada sepuluh agenda, beserta  hal-hal lain yang akan ditambah secara tidak sengaja oleh ketua jabatan, aku menjangkakan  mesyuarat ini akan mengambil masa selama dua jam.  Lebih parah, tiada tea o suam dan mihun dihidangkan.  Karipap pun takde.

Selepas kesemua sepuluh agenda dibentangkan, ramalanku kurang tepat apabila masa sebenar yang diambil untuk mesyuarat ini adalah selama dua jam tiga puluh minit.  Aku tertidur untuk tiga puluh minit terakhir itu.  Tiba-tiba, ketua jabatan memandang tepat ke arahku dan mula bertanya.

"Mustaqim, kamu denagr apa yang saya beritahu tadi?"

"Dengar Puan, dengar"

"Agenda mana yang kamu rasa kamu kena buat lepas ni?"

"Agenda nombor sebelas Puan"

"Hahh nombor sebelas? Agenda ada sampai sepuluh je Mustaqim"

"Agenda nombor sebelas, sila kemas bilik mesyuarat ni dan simpan semula flip chart dan LCD projektor di tempat yang sepatutnya"


Love The Rain

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 It was raining again. A little girl sat on a bench located at the entrance of the hospital, patiently waiting for the rain the stop. It was the raining season, a season she hated the most. 
          "When will the rain stop?" she sighed. The weather was getting worse, and it was too cold for her to remain outside.  She missed the glory of the sun, the chirping of birds, the rustling of trees and the sound of cicadas at night. She missed the way the flowers danced when swayed by the hot summer breeze. She was lonely, and the rainy season had made her even lonelier. Her parents were too busy with work to even spend time with her. She was shy and sickly, hence no kids her age would want to play with her.
A nurse approached her, politely asking her to go inside as her condition had worsen each day. She shook her head gently, refusing to go inside. The nurse smiled, and put a soft blanket around her body. “Here, this should keep you warm. Enjoy your view here and call me if anything happens okay?” the nurse said, a sad smile formed on her mouth. Every staff in the hospital knew about her condition. That nurse was no exception. After that, he left the little girl alone to her thoughts and continued to his work.
Her surrounding was silent, apart from the sound of the raindrops hitting the hospital roof like bullets, killing any other sound that was present. She looked around, and she realised she was the only one who was left alone. “Where’s mummy? Where’s daddy?” She muttered. She was on the verge of crying when suddenly, a boy sat beside her. She was shocked, but he remained calm and admired the rain without saying nothing. 
          His black hair was trimmed short and he had a pale skin, as if no blood was running under his skin. His black pair of eyes were so fixated on the rain, as if the rain was performing some sort of dance that only he knew. He did not even realize that she was staring at him, curious with his course of action. Out of a sudden, he smiled. As if the rain had entertained him, giving him a mysterious joy. She thought he was creepy. Nevertheless, she still try to start a conversation with him.

"Why are you smiling?” she asked.
  “Because the rain is something I love the most” he answered with a smile and she gasped.
"Well for me, the rain is something I hate the most" she said and he just smiled again. 
  "It's unfair." he said, his eyes still fixed on the heavy rain. He really really liked the rain.
"Unfair? Why?” she asked him again, her blue eyes widened. She was curious, and she demanded an answer that could satisfy her curiosity.
  "It's unfair to the trees. God created the rain to answer their prayers. Even the trees want some water to drink, don't you think?"

She was shocked to hear such answer coming out from a boy this young. Speechless, she remained silent and watched the rain too. Both of them sat there in silence, enjoying the peace and calmness of the weather. Suddenly, he stood up and left her after a brief bye bye, leaving her to her own thoughts. She kept thinking of his words, realizing that they were indeed true. After a while, she realized that the temperature was too cold for her and she decided to seek warmth in the hospital.
             A day passed by and she knew too well that she wanted to meet him again. She wanted to know more about him. Where did he come from? How old was he? Why did he end up in this hospital? Most importantly, she wanted to listen to his thoughts about everything in this world. It was the first time someone had ever talked to her, apart from her family and the hospital staff.


She searched the whole hospital for him, or perhaps a clue about his whereabouts, but to no avail. She was tired and frustrated. Where did he go? How can a boy disappear in just one night? She felt like crying. She was dying to meet him again. She didn’t even get the chance to say thank you to him yesterday. She wanted to talk her again.



Suddenly, a doctor approached her.
       "Are you okay, little girl? Why do you look so sad? Are you in pain somewhere? Are you lost? I can help you. " the doctor asked, concerned about this little girl that had been wandering around the hospital for hours.

"I'm looking for someone" she said, on the verge of tears.
  "I see. Can you tell me more about this person? Maybe this doctor here can help you find that person." the doctor said, plastering a smile to keep her calm.
"He is tall, he has black hair and black eyes. He sat beside me yesterday at the bench outside the hospital." she described him vaguely as she herself didn’t know his name.
  "Hmmm... that is quite vague. Why don’t we ask the nurses? Perhaps they know this boy you’re looking for" the doctor held her hands tightly and they asked the same nurse that had advised her to go inside yesterday. 

"Yes may I help you, doctor?" the nurse said with a polite smile.
  "This girl here is looking for the boy that sat beside her at the bench outside the hospital yesterday. Black hair, black eyes, do you know who he is?" the doctor asked the nurse while the girl hid behind the doctor's long white coat.
Suddenly, the nurse's smile turned into a frown. She looked sad.

"Actually, that boy, Ryuu passed away this morning." the nurse said.

She was shocked to hear the news. How can he left so soon when they only met each other yesterday? She didn’t even know his name, his background, his passion, his ideals. She could hear her heart broke, shattered into tiny pieces. She was sad, and this sadness would stay for a long long time. She cried loudly, her voice could be heard from miles away, grieving for the death of a friend she had only met when the rain fell.
13 years passed by, and the little girl was fully cured from the illness she suffered. However, each time the rain falls, she will be reminded of the boy who taught her to love the rain. Each time the rain falls. She will be reminded of the boy who taught her the pure feeling of grief and sadness. Life must go on, she believed. But she will never forget the boy.






~Sky



Tasik Biru Yang Merubah Warnanya Menjadi Kelabu

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Pada senja itu, sepasang kekasih yang masih mencintai antara satu sama lain (tapi tlah lama terputus hubungan atas sesuatu yang tak dapat disimpulkan), sedang duduk di tepi tasik biru ditemani bungaan mekar dengan perasaan masing masing yang sedang bercampur antara sedih kerana mereka tidak lagi bersama, gembira kerana bisa melepaskan rindu walau hanya dengan bertentangan mata, dan amarah tentang masa lalu yang hampir meragut jiwa mereka.

“Jadi, apa lagi yang kita berdua bisa lakukan selepas apa yang telah terjadi selama ini?” ujar si gadis yang mempunyai sepasang mata redup dan begitu bundar, yang masih bisa cairkan hati sang pencintanya yang setia.

“Eloknya kita begini aja. Aku begitu malu dengan diriku. Dan aku begitu malu dengan masa laluku. Aku tidak betah melukaimu lagi, sayang. Aku tau jika aku berjanji lagi untuk kali ini, kamu akan menganggap janjiku itu sama seperti debu-debu yang cuma melaluimu seperti laki-laki durjana, cumaan  tabur segala janji manis lalu pergi lagi”, jawab si lelaki, pencinta si gadis yang telah mencuri hatinya sejak lima tahun yang lalu.

“Iya, aku cuma takut kamu akan pergi meninggalkan aku lagi sama seperti sebelum-sebelum ini. Asal kamu tahu, sayang, jiwa aku tlah begitu lama hilang. Setelah kepergianmu, aku tiada lagi cebisan hati untuk diberikan kepada sesiapa malahan untuk kongsikan sezarah pun, tiada lagi aku termampu” balas si gadis yang tlah lama jauh bersendiri meratapi hatinya yang mati.

“Manisku, aku slalu mengerti kamu. Dan cuma kamu seorang saja yang masih ada di dalam benakku seperti hari-hari yang selalu suatu ketika dahulu. Tlah aku cuba menginginkan dan memahu kan yang lain-lain, akan tetapi, satu pun tidak bisa membuat aku melupakan segala memori kita yang manis-manis dan kenangan kita yang pedih-pedih yang pernah kita berdua lalui bersama pada tahun-tahun kita yang lalu. Aku mengerti atas ketakutanmu, atas fobiamu untuk mencintai aku sekali lagi. Tetapi, mengertilah, kekasihku, aku tidak pernah mengenal arti lelah mecintai sepasang matamu yag dipinjamkan Tuhan buat aku tatap pada waktu ini malah untuk selamanya pun aku mampu, walau setelah apa yang  terjadi. Kita masih perlu kuatkan diri dan tidak lagi membiarkan hal-hal remeh  meranapkan kita lagi untuk kali ini”, ujar si lelaki yang begitu rigeret dengan kesalahan yang masih terletak di atas bahunya. Masih berat, sama seperti tujuh bulan yang lalu.
Dan setelah itu, air mata sepasang kekasih tersebut mengalir dengan begitu laju lalu ia mengering dan seterusnya mereka berdua meneggelamkan diri mereka di dalam tasik yang secara tiba-tiba berubah warna menjadi kelabu.

Sorry judgemental people

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Sorry judgemental people. You are out of my league.
Dalam bahang kota yang mengikis sedikit demi sedikit jiwa kemanusiaan marhanis,
ceruk dan lorong menyimpan gelap bayang suci jiwa yang tak terusik.
Mudah berkata tanpa bicara.
Otak menusuk senjata buta.
Mudah meluah tanpa fikir.
Kelak membunuh tanpa menafsir.
Benarlah menghukum lebih disanjung dari menyelidik.
Camar diranting halus, enggan lari.
Manusia perosak bangsa, enggan mati.
Pada basah tubuhmu itu bukan keringat kerja.
Tapi dosa-dosa mencair menuduh orang membabi buta.
Yang cacat dicerca.
Yang berpangkat sentiasa kononnya berpahala.
Yang miskin direndah.
Yang kaya meninggi hidungnya.
Enough for all this shit.
We ain't saint. We're the sinner. But we're not judgemental bitch.

-hanahani

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